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Showing posts with label hated. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hated. Show all posts
Friday, 1 April 2011
Thursday, 25 November 2010
I knew I’d end up featuring this guy sooner or later here I suppose better sooner than later – Anthony Anderson. Anderson easily ranks in the top ten of actors I find most annoying. He’s one of those character actors who shows up in a slew of Ebonics’ movies playing the same tired old wingman and making feeble attempts at comedy that fail to impress. Am I being harsh? You bet. Let’s take a look at the evidence.
Prosecution, Exhibit A: Kangaroo JackI cited this some time back as one of the worst films of the last decade, and that’s
a pronouncement that wasn’t done lightly. This film is awful, truly everything about it is, but Anderson is the most awful portion. From the over exaggerated expressions, the whiny voice the terrible acting – it was all just a very, very bad accident, but it can’t be that much of an accident. They did read the script after all.
Prosecution, Exhibit B: Romeo Must Die
I like Romeo Must Die. As far as Asian actors go I’d say Jet Li is one of the better ones and I’m a big fan of Aaliyah. It’s a typical action/romance/comedy but it’s enjoyable enough. Anthony Anderson doesn’t help. True, his involvement doesn’t turn the entire film into a hot mess or anything but his presence adds nothing. The only thing that makes him slightly passable is the fact that the characters in the film find him just as annoying, so there’s always the vicarious thrill of seeing him embarrassed. Call me cold-hearted, whatever. Prosecution, Exhibit C: King’s Ransom
King’s Ransom is one of those awfully generic unfunny comedies that infuriate me to no end. It involves a running gag on kidnapping, and truly the script is awful but having Anderson as the lead makes it even worse. Usually I think that Rotten Tomatoes is ridiculous, but I can’t argue with the 0% rating for it. (I forgot to list it in my worst of the decade list, but who’d want to remember this?)Defence, Exhibit A: The Departed
I don’t think it’s coincidental that the film where I find him tolerable is the one where he has a minute amount of screentime that’s balanced out by having Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Vera Farmiga and Leonardo DiCaprio buttressing the talent in the film and preventing any potential annoyances he may incur. He works in The Departed. I don’t know why, and I don’t know how...but he does. The only time I can admit to that happening.This seems essentially cut and dry to me, but what do you think about Anderson? Guilty? Innocent? Has he Failed to Launch?
Previously
Thursday, 9 September 2010
I’m no authority, but I’ll put forth that the general critique that this current film season was rooted in the doldrums principally because of Hollywood’s unoriginality is an erroneous claim. I’m not sure how 2010 has stacked up so far, it’s definitely not been as good as 2009 but I’m still reserving judgement. In the wake of that The Karate Kid turned into something of a sleeper hit. It was a remake (surprise, surprise) that ostensibly existed as a breakout role for Jaden Smith. I have no memory of having seen the original Karate Kid, though it’s possible I saw it as a child and just forgot. I wasn’t particularly anxious for the film; all my previous encounters with the Pinkett-Smith family have been less than satisfying. (For the record, I’m officially blaming you Walter for making me watch this.)
If I learned anything from watching The Karate Kid (a dubious possibility) it’s this. The problem with rote films like these is not that the audience already knows what’s going to happen; it’s that the journey to the end is just terribly trite. Suffice to say, I wasn’t a fan of this one. I’m unwilling to blame it on my general apathy towards children, maybe it’s that added to the strong antipathy I have towards said Pinkett-Smith family. I don’t think I’m unduly prejudiced, though. As a lead in a surreptitious blockbuster of sorts Smith’s acting skill is horribly...well, just horrible, really. I don’t think I’m overreaching when I assume he was casted on his name, the thing is the validity of casting him on that name befuddles me. I’ve never gotten why Will Smith is popular...but I’m beating a dead horse and way off the track with my digressing. Vetoing the general pointlessness of remaking a film which has a plot that offers nothing of seismic importance it’s questionable why the producers felt that Jaden Smith actually had the talent to carry the majority of a film that’s already bordering on inane blandness.
I will agree with Walter in some respects though, Jackie Chan (who’d have thought) ends up becoming the life raft. Even Taraji P. Henson, who I’m subjective to, seems to be going through the motions more than being her usual hilarious self. It’s the toned down Chan who offers anything close to trying in the generally meandering film. The thing is, most of the times his admittedly valiant attempts do nothing to decrease my boredom during the entire spectacle, it only seems to exacerbate it. The very purpose of a film, like any other artistic creation, is to present us with something to think about or at the very least entertain us in a way that’s (even fleetingly unique. The Karate Kid doesn’t hold up to its end of the bargain. What’s more exasperating is not that it has nothing to work with, but what’s there that could be made into something is just left to remain as trite as possible culminating in what – for me – was just two hours of tedium The only reason I didn’t stop watching it was because I wanted to review it appropriately. And really, when that’s your sole reason for watching a movie, you’ve reached a roadblock.
What I wanted to know after seeing it was how the F did this make all that money at the box-office. Accent on the F...
F
Have you seen it yet?
Friday, 6 August 2010
I was thinking who my next subject would be when a certain sex tape that wasn’t hit the internet. It was too easy because I’m constantly asking myself what is this particular woman’s appeal – Eva Mendes. In the words of a very badass TV character "She makes me want to set myself on fire." Word. Let the arguments begin.
Prosecution, Exhibit A: Ghost Rider
I read about this over at FlixChatter, I vowed never to see it...then I realised I already had. Wish it'd stayed with me NOT remembering it because it's god awful. She plays the female (quasi)-lead and as per normal confuses sultry with trashy or whatever her brand of appeal is. It doesn't help that she's playing against Nicolas Cage at his worst...or thereabouts. Whatever.
Prosecution, Exhibit B: The Women
The Women wasn’t very good either. Although I’d argue that Annette tries, tries hard, to rise above the material – it’s still embarrassingly underwhelming. In an ensemble of poor things Eva is not the sole one responsible but she’s an accessory, a co-conspirator even. Technically, I suppose she is hot but I don’t Eva Mendes attractive – it’s so odd. Thus, her seduction skills – which essentially means her in tight clothing – as the “spritzer” girl is just embarassingly…well, it’s just embarrassing really.
Prosecution, Exhibit C: Hitch
I could hold my general hatred of Will Smith as the main person responsible for the awfulness. That doesn’t make me any less impressed with her. It’s not that she is horrible, she’s fair – she’s just not very good. It’s arguably one of her largest roles and she just exudes a blandness that’s just maddening in an already bland affair...
Prosecution, Exhibit D: 2 Fast 2 Furious
I don’t find it any worse (or better) than the original Fast & the Furious, but with Eva Mendes as the female lead it seems like a definite demotion of sorts. It doesn't help that the movie is completely forgettable. I've seen it more than once and I can't remember what it's about (yes, street racing, but what else). I have to think to remember Mendes....and I suppose it's better than her being so horrible I think about it for days (see above); but then again failed to launch? Ummm, yeah.
Defence, Exhibit A: Training Day
I’d go as far as to say that I found Eva to be fine in Training Day. Is it because her role was almost miniscule? Is it because Ethan Hawke and Denzel Washington are delivering brilliant performances, perhaps it’s the fact that Fuqua seems really on the mark here. Whatever it is, I don’t cringe when she appears. I believe her performance, I’m even moves. The fact that this was before most of her films makes me think it was probably a fluke.
Don’t go easy on her because she’s the first woman I've featured. Guilty? Innocent? Make your arguments.
Previously
Wednesday, 4 August 2010
Only one?No, one's enough... I don’t like writing pans of films, which is why I’m more likely to wax on about a film I like than about a film I hate. I wrote that post on my least favourite films of the decade and that was bad enough.
It’s too easy to bring up a horrible movie here, instead I’ll opt for a movie that I don’t find very good (I’d give it a D, maybe even a C-) and one that I loathe for personal reasons….it stars Orson Welles. No it’s not Citizen Kane (even I still find How Green Was My Valley better, kill me I know).
Excuse the digressions. I love Shakespeare, I started reading him when I was thirteen and I was lucky enough to study “Macbeth” two years later – then I saw the Orson Welles film version. Yikes. Without a doubt it ranks as my least favourite cinematic encounter. Shakespeare is difficult to adapt to screen – even the good ones have obvious reality issues, but Macbeth, for me, lies in a league of its own. Perhaps it’s because I internalised it (what can I say, I was a neurotic student), or because it was one of the plays we put on for school but I was so indignant after seeing the film. It just struck me as offensively inadequate, and considering that I wouldn’t rank it in Shakespeare’s top ten that goes to show how little I like this movie.
I’ve come to realise what Welles was aiming for in his production, but I’ve never been able to appreciate the film. I see it and the old embers of hate burn brightly. I’ve always been more than a little overwrought. I still loathe Macbeth…
Did you skip it…did you like it?
The MEME is going well. Shocker.
Monday, 26 July 2010
According to my count I’ve seen 650 films from the last decade, which is more or less an accurate count. I was particularly anxious to cover the “worst of” list, because looking at the worst is even more subjective than looking at the best. I have a feeling I may step on some toes, but it’s all done in good faith.
Of the films I remember seeing (yes, I tabulated a list) I’ve given 45 Fs. I’m unsure if that’s too much or too little. Here they are, alphabetically…
Big Momma’s House (2000) / Anger Management (2003) / Are We There Yet (2005) / Around the World in 80 Days (2004) / Big Fat Liar (2002) / Big Momma’s House II (2006) / Blades of Glory (2007) / Boat Trip (2003) / Cats & Dogs (2001) / Cinderella Story (2004) / Daredevil (2003) / Dukes of Hazzard (2005) / Duplex (2003) / Elektra (2005) / Fred Claus (2007) / Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties (2006) / High Crimes (2002) / House of Wax (2005) / I Love You Beth Cooper (2009) / John Q (2002) / Josie & the Pussycats (2001) / Kangaroo Jack (2003) / Like Mike (2002) / The Lizzie MaGuire Movie (2003) / Love Don’t Cost A Thing (2003) / Mad Money (2008) / Marley & Me (2008) / Material Girls (2006) / Men In Black II (2002) / Nacho Libre (2006) / Next (2007) / Norbit (2007) / Not Another Teen Movie (2001) / Rat Race (2001) / The Ring (2002) / Scary Movie II (2001) / Scary Movie III (2003) / Scooby Doo (2002) / Seven Pounds (2008) / Shallow Hal (2001) / Stuart Little II (2002) / Stuck On You (2003) / Swing Vote (2008) / Wild Hogs (2007) / XXX (2002)
The above 45 films are those eligible for my own personal awards of “Worst”. The biggest offender was 2002 with a whopping ten titles emerging from it. 2000 and 2009 (the book ends) only got one a piece.
The Worst Performances
Runners Up (Paris Hilton in House of Wax, Fred Willard in Scooby Doo, Ben Stiller in Blades of Glory, Ben Stiller in Duplex, Jack Black in Shallow Hal)
#10: Ben Affleck in Daredevil
#9: Jack Black in Nacho Libre
I’ve covered this before – let’s just leave it at bad, bad, bad.
#8: Eddie Murphey in Norbit
An atrocity, and probably the lowest point in his career (and there have been other low points); so disgusting it fails to be humorous and just becomes sad.
#7: Martin Lawrence in Big Momma’s House
#6: Jerry O’Connell in Kangaroo Jack
O'Connell seemed to show at least an average amount of competence in Crossing Jordan. Thus, I wonder if he's really that talent-less or just not talented enough to make this drivel work. It's painful to watch at times, and I think he knows.
#5: Hayley Duff in Material Girls
Sure, she'll never be as big as her sister (and by big I mean terrible), but she does give her a run for her money in the shrill acting department.
#4: Hayden Panetirre in I Love You, Beth Cooper
Perhaps it's unfair to single her out as the film's worse offender, but then again - no.
# 3: Hilary Duff in Material Girls
It's one of the oddest performance I've seen. She manages to overact and underact at the same time, and still manages to annoy me with her shrill platitudes (the script's fault as much) on life. What a bore.
#2: Will Ferrell in Blades of Glory
There has been one occasion where I have not loathed Will Ferrell, in Stranger than Fiction. Other than not, his talent eludes me. but this is just too horrible for words.
#1: Anthony Anderson in Kangaroo Jack
The Worst Worst
Runners Up: (Big Momma’s House, Daredevil, Nacho Libre, Shallow Hal, Stuart Little II)
#10: Blades of Glory
I’ve permanently been standoffish about Will Ferrell and Ben Stiller since. This is the sort of contemptible imaginings that just make me sigh at the state of “comedy” in this day and age. What a chore.
#9: Scary Movie III
Dare I continue? Anna Farris shows burst of talent at times, but it’s never in this franchise. It just gets worse and worse and this third incarnation is just vile. To add to its badness they decide to spoof every single movie they can think of. Epic fail. Epic.
#8: Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties
I can’t explain what prompted me to see this. I missed the original (with good reason apparently). I like the comics, but the sight of this disgusting cat makes me want to hurl and with a story that beats as much as a punctured heart I curse the day that the filmmakers realised the money to be made in anamorphic characters.
#7: I Love You, Beth Cooper
#6: Men In Black II
I remember being mildly charmed by the original; the sequel? Not so much. Will Smith aggravates me most of the time, and though I don’t despise Tommy Lee Jones I’m not a big fan of his. With this unfortunate sequel I though at least they’d stop with the pairing; I was wrong
#5: Elektra
#4: Norbit
I didn’t want Murphy to win the Oscar for Dreamgirls, and if this is what prevented it – I’m fine. That doesn’t make it any better, though. Eddie Murphy has talent, but the offensiveness horribleness of this “film” is unnerving. What a travesty.
#3: Big Momma’s House II
What’s worse than the original? The sequel. I suppose once upon a time the crossdressing thing held some appeal (Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Lemmon all did it with genuine comedic ability) but this tired film is such a chore I cringe that this is what black comedy has turned. I cringe that this is what ANY sort of comedy has turned to.
#2: Material Girls
Perhaps, there’s just the slightest bit of folly in expecting this to be good; but I’m not one to harshly judge all teenage fodder. In the case of Material Girls, all the hate is justified. Uninspired, ridiculous and so horribly acting I can’t believe that Anjelica Huston has reached this level.
#1: Kangaroo Jack
Is there any film above that you’d be willing to defend? Make your arguments.
An F is more than just a bad movie; an F is a film I wish would disappear completely. What were your Fs last decade?
Monday, 12 July 2010
Sooner or later I’ll end up featuring an actor that we’ll end up arguing over – chances are, this is not that episode. A few weeks ago Heather and I entered a discussion in the commenting section of her blog on Jack Black. Apparently we both loathed the man. Jack Black’s appeal escapes me. It boggles my mind even more that he’s considered a celebrated comedian, or at the very least a creditable box-office draw. But am I overzealous in my disdain of him?
Prosecution, Exhibit A: Shallow Hal
Later in the week I’ll turn my attention to this film a little more, but until then I will intimate that it – along with Jack Black – does nothing but exasperate me. It remains as one of the un-funniest comedies and the fact that it garners any positive reviews only confuses more. The eponymous Hal is a shallow man who gets a “spell” placed on him so that he only sees the inside of people. Thus the fat, ugly, but sweet girl is seen as thin and gorgeous. I won’t go into the tirade on the actual film (later), but Black does nothing to improve it. It drags and his vexing lack of charisma does little to improve the situation.
Prosecution, Exhibit B: Nacho Libre
Another candidate for worse film of the decade…for me at least. It is neither “action” nor “comedy” yet it’s sometimes given the moniker of action-comedy. What an error. Even though Shallow Hal attempts (fleetingly) to take the spotlight off Black, Nacho Libre lets him do all – which only proves, once again, how unsatisfying he is a leading man and as an “actor”. It’s the sort of experience that makes you embarrassed for those involved and leaves a slight taste of vomit in your mouth.
Prosecution, Exhibit C: The Holiday
I liked The Holiday. Sure it’s not nearly as good as Meyer’s best film, but it’s a serviceable romantic comedy. I realised how little Jack Black was doing for me when, as the film neared its end, I found myself hoping that Kate Winslet would end up with the septuagenarian instead of him. Sure, he attempts to tone down his infuriating antics, but the best he manages to do is play a bland nonentity. Not to sound harsh, he’s not as horrible here as the two before – but the reason I single it out is because Black's apparent inability to play a serious romantic lead really spoiled the film at times for me, no matter how luminous Winslet is.
Defence, Exhibit A: School of Rock
I remember this most for Joan Cusack offering another brilliant take on an old character part. The thing is, the film is something of a blast and Black is good here. I don’t know if it’s because the script is tighter, I don’t know if it’s because he’s in the habitat where he should remain (with people who seem to have the mental capacity as he; no offense to children) but it works. It all works very well so that when he does (unfortunately) shift into his slapstick antics I’m being distracted by all the other good stuff around.
Defence, Exhibit B: Margot at the Wedding
This film is oft forgotten and when remembered it is not with fondness. It’s not an easy film, by any stretch, though I do think Nicole’s quite brilliant in it playing severely against type. Yet, it’s not Nicole who’s the revelation (I already know she’s a star) it’s black pacing himself, being subtle (as much as he can) and doing one hell of a job to make me think I could have been wrong about him. Was I?
You decide. Guilty? Innocent? Am I being harsh or has Black’s career failed to impress you? Make your arguments.
PREVIOUSLY:
Monday, 5 July 2010
Weeks ago when I wrote my final post on Forgotten Characters (for the time being) I promised you a new feature. Well, I’m still working on that, but I’ve still decided on another feature (I know, lofty ideals and all). By now you probably know I have my weird idiosyncrasies when it comes to irrational loathing of some actors, but sometimes it’s more than just irrational – they’ve just done nothing to make them worthwhile. So, every now and then I’ll focus on one of them. And it’s too easy to pass up on one of the most obvious choices when the feature’s title is begging me to mention him. And who am I to ignore the obvious?
One career that has failed to launch, with me at least? Matthew Matthew McConaughey
Prosecution, Exhibit A: The Wedding Planner
Against my better judgement I’m rather fond of Jennifer Lopez, the actress. She’s not amazingly talented, but she is personable. It’s weird, she’s doing her best to play a romantic comedy lead in The Wedding Planner and everything’s working with her except her co-lead, Mr. Matthew McConaughey. I’ll be honest, the one thing I particularly treasure in The Wedding Planner is Justin Chambers. He’s donning a faux Italian accent and he’s playing someone completely different to his congenial bastard on Grey’s Anatomy. It’s like the riddle of the sphinx with these romantic comedies, why does the leading lady always go for the prick of a man? I don’t know if Matthew McConaughey’s trying but he’s doing such a good job of making me despise him that The Wedding Planner just leaves a horrid taste in my mouth – not one for repeat viewing.
Prosecution, Exhibit B: How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days
This is actually a key bit of evidence used in people’s hatred of Kate Hudson. Poor Kate, she’s much better than she’s given credit for but even she can’t make this sinking ship work. Once again, a leading lady who’s trying and Matthew McConaughey just seems to be going through the motion. Surprise, surprise – he’s (once again) playing a grating character. I don’t know if that points to his range or not (or lack thereof). The film is an utter plod, but it would have been nice if he could have at least tied. Ugh.
Prosecution, Exhibit C: Failure to Launch
Defence, Exhibit A: A Time to Kill
Verdict: I say he’s failed, irrefutably. But what you do think? Which side are you on? Has Matthew McConaughey proved his talents or do you, like me, think his career has failed to launch? What are your thoughts on the new feature?
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